Connected Recovery™ Books

Connected Recovery™ currently includes two sets of books along with a book of the handouts and diagrams connected to the model.

Full-Length Connected Recovery™ Books (formerly Coupled Recovery®)

The Connected Recovery™ books explain the process of recovery and walk individuals (and relationships if you are in one) through each step of the process of recovering from problematic sexual behaviors, infidelity, betrayal, betrayal trauma, and patterns of deception. They are written to be read by both betrayers/escapers (this model uses the term “escapers” instead of “addicts” because “escapers” applies to those who are struggling with any level of problematic behaviors) and betrayed partners. The approach used is the Connected Recovery™ model, which connects tools and ideas from current leaders in the fields of problematic sexual behaviors, betrayal trauma, infidelity, sex therapy, and relational counseling. Books 1-3 are a set and focus on early, middle, and late recovery, although each can be read on its own as well. Books 4 and 5 are connected to the Connected Recovery™ model as well, but instead of relating to a specific stage of recovery, they address sub-topics including surviving abandoned betrayal and breaking relational chains related to escape behaviors.

The Connected Recovery™ process will be detailed in a series of five books, the first of which (Facing Hope) is available here. Three of those books are geared towards the recovery process in general. Facing Hope addresses early recovery, which includes discovering truth and creating emotional safety. The second book focuses on middle recovery, helping individuals and couples deepen empathy and connection. The third book in that trilogy looks at late recovery, helping individuals and relationships heal sexuality after betrayal or abuse. The other two books in the set include one that addresses surviving abandoned betrayal and one that helps parents know how to talk to their children as the parents go through the recovery process. As each book becomes available, links to purchase them will be provided.

Facing Hope (available here) focuses on Early Recovery, helping you recover, find, see, and/or share the truth with yourself and those connected to you, or helps support you through the process of discovering and/or understanding the truth about someone you love.

Disclosure Booklets

The Connected Recovery™ disclosure process is explained in a set of three booklets that walk betrayers and partners through the process step-by-step. This model applies to any level of betrayal, ranging from a single affair to extended patterns of behavior. The process includes four letters: the What & How letter, the Why letter, the Impact letter, and the Amends letter. Letters one, two, and four are written and presented by the betrayer, while letter three is written and presented by the partner. Booklet A is for betrayers and Booklet B is for partners. The first section of each is almost identical and explains the disclosure process in general, including three handouts, one of which breaks the betrayer’s part of the process down into bullet points, another breaks the partner’s process down into bullet points, and a third that explains how to set up the presentation of each letter and what to do on the day of the disclosure. The booklets differ from that point forward.

Booklet A walks betrayers through how to write and present the first two letters, how to receive the third, and how to write and present the fourth. The appendix of Booklet A includes several timelines and exercises that may be helpful for betrayers. These exercises are also available separately in the Exercises Booklet (published primarily for clinicians who want to use the exercises separately). I recommend partners not read Booklet A or go through the Exercises Booklet as the questions and exercises may be unnecessarily triggering.

Booklet A can be purchased on Amazon here.

The Exercises Booklet can be purchased on Amazon here.

Booklet B details the process for partners, explaining how to prepare for and receive the first, second, and fourth letters. Partners are walked through how to process through the stages of grief and write an Impact letter. Every handout and exercise recommended for this process are included in Booklet B, so no additional material is needed and partners need not go through all the questionnaires and exercises developed for betrayers. Note, the Impact letter writing process can be used for any Impact letter, not just one connected to the disclosure process.

Booklet B can be purchased on Amazon here.

Handouts

All handouts currently connected to the Connected Recovery™ model (with the exception of the Sexual Timeline Exercise for Betrayers, which is available in the Exercises Booklet) are available here. Additionally, each Connected Recovery™ book was printed in 8.5 by 11 so worksheets and diagrams can be easily photocopied and written on (but not altered or used for commercial purposes). The handouts are divided by phase and step. Please note that the Connected Recovery™ model continues to develop and change and therefore current handouts may differ as the model shifts. Updated versions of the handouts and worksheets will be released at regular intervals to allow for updates to the handouts and the addition of new handouts.